... In a galaxy far, far, away, amid an ordinary cluster of stars, spinning around a medium yellow sun, exists a small watery planet. Recently, and oddly, the surface temperature of the planet has begun to rise. Scrambling to save their environment, beings on the planet (known as "Humans") have struggled to find, and argued over the cause of, the excess heat and unavoidable climate change. The best theory they have to explain these changes is a thing called, "Global Warming", citing excessive amounts of "Greenhouse Gases" . Now, you don't have to be a Creationist to realize that what their talking about is a lot of excess CO2 hanging around. Well, heck!!, CO2 is what turns juice into soda, and even a two year old knows that soda is cold, not hot. Nope, they got it all wrong......
... It really began just before the end of the second millennium, in the great nation state called the "United States". From humble hovels in big towns, to great stone residences in small towns, came a number of focused entities, like beams of light, really, all making their way by different paths, to a focal point in some Erie place in the northwestern part of the province called, "Pennsylvania". Tremendous energy from these entities intersected and coalesced into wave patterns called "Audio", creating things called, "Music", "Jazz", "Blues", and "Rock". Those who could get near to the phenomena during these focused outbursts have described the experience as "Blazing" and, "Hot!!!" On the planet, the phenomenon is commonly known as, "Emil and the Palookas" (whatever that means, its probably some local dialect). To further explain the "Palooka Phenomenon", and its effects on planetary warming, we have researched the origins of the individual entities making up this phenomena and have discovered the following:
JORDAN ZYLAK - Alias "The Dude" We were lucky enough to obtain this underground picture of Jordan performing on the sax in an asbestos lined room. This picture was taken with high speed film and solar filters.
Whether soloing on sax or guitar, he is a true show stopper that brings heat to any performance. Check out his new "Les Paul" at the next show, it certainly brings another dimension to his blazing guitar work.
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JESS NELSON-Alias: Goldilocks Don't let the innocent look fool you!!! Hot and sizzling are words too mild to describe her sultry vocals and innovative violin work.
It was a tale of woe and tragedy that brought this innocent girl to shamelessly sell out her extraordinary musical talent to an underground, thrill seeking, no good, band called the Palookas. Still it hasn't diminished the fire in her delivery or the warmth of her solos. Her presence always raises the temperature in any room!!!
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DAVE ALLEN - Alias "The SNEER" Wanted in several states and Canada for alleged environmental violations. He is said to have burned enough CD's across North America to melt the glaciers. Music? It's all about the sneer ......Mitch Mitchell, Noel Redding, maybe Billy Idol, Elvis not as much.
His ability to interact and connect with any audience is only a warmup to his blistering keyboard work and composition. His fevered vocals make us want to check any open arson cases one more time.
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JEFF BARBARY Alias: "Jumpin" Rumored to have some hot blooded British Ancestry. At times appears schizophrenic.
Some call him an animal, but Jeff's varied musical background and unique sound on upright, electric upright, and bass guitar, make him "ground zero", for the band's incendiary performances!!
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MATT BAUGHMAN (long miles) The National Weather Service confirms Matt's race with the tornado across South Dakota, however, the truth be known, there was no tornado, just Matt on his Harley headed toward Strugis.
Matt covers it all on percussion and is a real anchor with his years of experience and innovative work. If we told you how this guy is like a volcano, pumping out hot rivers of molten music, you wouldn't believe it.....so we won't. We're glad he gives us a helping hand when we need it, one palooka to another.
MATT BURCHFIELD - Alias "Matt The Cat" His performances are said to get everyone's blood boiling.
Matt could do it all on harp, percussion, and vocals. It is rumored that he is working in Disney World as a musician, but the truth be known, he was stolen away from the Palookas by the Florida Citrus Cartel who want to insure against any more freezing temperatures in the upcoming year. Just another Palooka doin what he can to keep the American economy rolling.
TOM Challingsworth
From the first time Tom giged with the Palookas it was obvious he was one of us. His feel for the music, attention to detail, and dedication to quality, fit in well with the soul of the band. We're glad he finds time to play with us from time to time. Once a Palooka, always a Palooka!
DANNY SCHWARTZ - Now living somewhere on the west coast. Is rumored that his performaces are so hot that many of the brush fires that ravashed California this year were begun when Danny was playing in the area.
Danny was one of the original Palookas who has moved on to find his fame and fortune in California. We sorely miss his talent and energy. Glad he always looks us up when he's in town, but then again, he IS a Palooka.
DENNIS LEVETO - Take our word for it, The Dude's HOT!!!
Dennis played regularly with the Palookas for awhile, and we're gald he finds time to play with us from time to time. His hard work and quality play are missed. He gave a different dimension to the Palookas during his tenure, but then again, hey, what'd you expect? He's a Palooka!
JORDAN ZYLAK - Alias "The Dude" We were lucky enough to obtain this underground picture of Jordan performing on the sax in an asbestos lined room. This picture was taken with high speed film and solar filters. 
JESS NELSON-Alias: Goldilocks Don't let the innocent look fool you!!! Hot and sizzling are words too mild to describe her sultry vocals and innovative violin work. 
DAVE ALLEN - Alias "The SNEER" Wanted in several states and Canada for alleged environmental violations. He is said to have burned enough CD's across North America to melt the glaciers. Music? It's all about the sneer ......Mitch Mitchell, Noel Redding, maybe Billy Idol, Elvis not as much. 
JEFF BARBARY Alias: "Jumpin" Rumored to have some hot blooded British Ancestry. At times appears schizophrenic.
MATT BAUGHMAN (long miles) The National Weather Service confirms Matt's race with the tornado across South Dakota, however, the truth be known, there was no tornado, just Matt on his Harley headed toward Strugis. 
MATT BURCHFIELD - Alias "Matt The Cat" His performances are said to get everyone's blood boiling. 
TOM Challingsworth
DANNY SCHWARTZ - Now living somewhere on the west coast. Is rumored that his performaces are so hot that many of the brush fires that ravashed California this year were begun when Danny was playing in the area.
DENNIS LEVETO - Take our word for it, The Dude's HOT!!!
